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Make up your own words. Far too many couples let decades go by in pain. I have heard a similar problem many times in my practice. Spouses who feel loved and cherished are almost always for receptive to intimacy. If your love life has become unsatisfying, and distant, get help. And for those spouses who wish for more lovemaking in their marriage, make an investment in touch alone. Finally , have a conversation with your spouse about what touch they like.
This is a sensitive topic loaded with potential problems. Misunderstandings, disappointments and hurt feelings are bad for intimacy of any type. That will help avoid misunderstandings, disappointments and hurt feelings later. Let this be a playful discussion. My second suggestion is to develop a new language to differentiate between desires for sexual versus non-sexual touch. To the often-stubborn human ear, there is a tremendous difference between hearing: